Family ties

Just recently, my mom was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphona. Apparently, her case is curable, but at Stage 3, I expect that it will be a long, hard road. I have surprised myself by suddenly choking up with emotion, mostly sad that she has to endure pain, hair loss, etc. Tomorrow, she will have her first round of chemo, and it will last for 12 hours.

When I found out about her diagnosis, the idea came to me to donate my hair directly to her for a wig. I have Oprah to thank for this good idea of mine - she did a show on donating hair to cancer patients, and brought Hilary Swank on as her guest. She had been growing her hair out in order to have Oprah cut it on the show and donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths organization. I was inspired when I saw the show years ago, and obviously it has stayed with me.

Donating hair directly to someone in need is tricky - many organizations want to protect the privacy of cancer patients. But my sister-in-law found an organization that will do it - she sent me a link to Caring and Comfort.  I lop off the hair and secure the sections in ponytails, mail them to their address, and the wig maker color-treats it to match my mom's preferred hair color. It will be mixed with other hair as well, but my hair will be in there too.

The other night, Peter and I were watching "Tangled" (like you do when you have a 2 year old, and while you could watch anything you want while he's asleep, you end up watching cartoons). At the end (spoiler alert), her hair breaks off and turns brown - and she's left with this cute, short hair - and I thought, "hey, I actually like her hair - I wonder how that would look on me?"

Yeah, I know. Cartoon=not real. Can't help it, I think it's cute. And now I'm poaching images off the Internet to put them on my blog.

I do have weird, mixed feelings about giving my hair up - mostly though, I feel good about doing something that's so easy for me, which will mean so much to someone who has to go through this.
I have a hair appointment in 2 days - if I go through with it, I will post photos.

Urban day w/ the Kid

Duboce park, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

One of my favorite things to do with the Kid is to ride public transportation. Jacob regularly asks to "get on boom-boom gn with mo-mo," which means that he wants to ride a train while eating a muffin. Don't ask me why, but he asks to do this almost daily. On this last outing, I didn't have muffins on hand, but we did ride the train from Duboce Park into Cole Valley, which involves passing through a tunnel - a huge thrill for the Kid.

It was your typical foggy-misty-cold-overcast summer day in the city. I hated those days when I lived there. Now that I'm basking in sunny Marin, the gloomy weather is a novelty that I sort of relish. I also don't mind the hectic pace, the noise, the trash, etc. I want for Jacob to at least not mind it, and if possible, to enjoy the quicker pace, to embrace the diversity and the myriad ways in which the city challenges you.

This might turn into sort of a rant, but I'll try to stay on point - what is my point? Simply put, it's that I don't want my son growing up a sheltered suburban kid. The other day, I was at a play date in Marin, and someone started talking about how they NEVER go into the city - parking is terrible, it's so hectic and busy everywhere, wah wah wah. . . sure, it's hectic and parking is a pain, but hello! Exploratorium? Fantastic museums? Parks, great restaurants, year-round events, Crissy Field, cable cars!! Isn't it worth a little inconvenience to expose your kid to all this cool stuff, especially when it's right in your backyard? Jacob will be exposed, he doesn't get to choose - but so far, he seems happy to let Mom show him the city she so loves. Muffins on a train - what could be better?

First day of preschool

First day of preschool, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Big Boy had his first day of preschool today. Mom was not ready for the send-off - teachers like to make sure that children say good-bye to parents as they leave. I am used to slinking out without him knowing that I left. I had to swallow tears when he came after me crying, telling me not to leave. But we managed, and after a few minutes, he calmed down. He was very happy when I picked him up, to the point where he didn't want to leave! Can't wait for the next day of school!

Bus adventure

Bus adventure #2, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Friday morning, the weather was perfect and we were free to do anything we wanted. These days, it's best to keep the Big Boy on the move. One of the easiest ways to entertain him is simply to get out and let him observe all modes of motor transportation. There are few things as engrossing as watching loud "boom-boom" trucks and buses barreling down the street. But what's even better is to ride on one!

I love public transportation - I don't know that I would have said it when I didn't have a car, and relied on MUNI pretty heavily. I think it comes from having lived in Japan. Ironically, it feels so liberating to leave the car at home, walk to the bus stop and wait to be whisked off. The problem is, in the US, you can wait, and wait and wait. Still, I find myself really wanting the freedom of being car-less. In Marin, taking public transit is a challenge, but it's not insurmountable, as I discovered today. We live within a 10-15 minute walk of a local bus line. I found the drivers - I kid you not - to be not just helpful, but warm and accommodating! This is a shock to anyone who's spent time riding MUNI in San Francisco, where many drivers are downright surly.

Anyway, my plan this morning was to take the bus downtown and attend an art class for toddlers. I got a late start leaving the house, so I missed the bus (they run every 30 min), and therefore missed art class. No big deal. With the Kid, it's more about the journey itself. He wanted to ride a bus, and while we waited for the next one to arrive, there were plenty of "big boom-boom" cars and trucks to keep him happy.

We arrived downtown at 11:00AM, plenty of time before lunch, possible meltdown, nap time, etc. The beauty of taking the bus is that you are free to peruse those intriguing little shops and places that you want to have a closer look at - and you think that very thing each time you're driving right by them ("Gee, it would be nice to check out that little boutique..." vrrrooooom - off you go). Additionally, getting out of your car allows you to actually be a part of your environment, rather than moving through it, like a fish in an aquarium on wheels. Near the bus stop, there is a cluster of Victorian houses that I pass by as I'm about to get on the freeway - and today was the first time that I could take a closer look. It was very satisfying to finally do so.

Another beautiful thing about being car-less is that it allows a whole other level of spontaneity in making and changing plans. As I was window shopping, I remembered that there was a cute-looking place that looked like a hair salon for kids, so I went by to have a look. Turns out that it was indeed a hair place for kids - as I looked inside, though, I saw attendants wearing what looked like Haz-mat suits, masks and gloves - this was odd, I thought. Went to the front door to investigate - the sign on the front door made it very clear - it's a place to take your kids when they have lice!!!

Did a quick 180 and walked down the street - Heller's toy and clothing store was just next door - sad story, Heller's is closing its doors after 50+ years, which meant that everything was marked down. I found some Big Boy underpants for Jacob, who is toying with the idea of using a potty someday. Maybe it's just that he's toying with his mama. In any event, he will - hopefully - need them someday soon.

We made it back to the bus stop in time to catch the 11:30 bus back home. We got off at the mall and grabbed lunch at Chipotle. I love Chipotle because my son with the "Discerning Palate" will reliably eat a sizable, nutritious lunch there, no matter what. Don't beans (legumes) count as a vegetable? They'd better, because that's the only vegetable that he will eat in its undisguised form. He did a good job on his lunch, so we went inside the mall before walking home, and discovered....a CHOO CHOO TRAIN. All thoughts of the indoor play structure forgotten, he made a bee line for the train and staked his claim on the coal car. I love how he gets when he's enthralled - very quiet, watchful and still. His eyes are wide and he's taking everything in. He was happy to ride only once and then do a thorough post-ride inspection of the train. And I learned that riding that train is a very enjoyable and efficient way to window-shop!

Sees candies on the way home (dark chocolate nougat) kept my boy happy and awake for the entire walk. \\(^_^)//

Sneaky Chef meets "Let's Japanese Cooking!"

IMG00683-20110610-1922.jpg, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.


Every weekday afternoon, it's the same situation - the Kid sleeps until 4:30 or so, at which point it's way too late to go grocery shopping if I am going to put dinner on at 6:00PM. For the record, I am NOT complaining - my kid gives me a solid 2.5 hour break every day, and it has been this way (knock on wood) for at least 4 months. It just means that, on some days, I have to forego grocery shopping and dredge through the freezer for any scrap of protein to go with whatever grains and veggies I have on hand. It was looking awfully sketchy today - I uncovered some frozen organic chicken meatballs, which were too salty and therefore banished to the freezer because I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. 


Other protein options I had were tofu, a puree of white beans, uncooked bacon and stinky cheese. I also had some Purple Puree (spinach & blueberries) that I had to use up somehow. The Purple Puree is easily hidden in brownies, chocolate cookies and in hamburger patties, but I did not have any ground beef. Then I had an idea - in Japan, "hamburger" or "hamburg" patties are made from combinations of ground protein - beef, pork, sometimes CHICKEN.... often mixed with tofu (!) and served with a tangy, dark sauce comprised mostly of Worcestershire sauce and ketchup.   


So I defrosted and minced the salty chicken meatballs and used them as a base for less salty, fortified patties. Taking inspiration from The Sneaky Chef and "Let's Cook Japanese Food!" by Amy Kaneko, I made my own "hamburg." I added tofu, white bean puree, a slurry of milk, panko and whole wheat breadcrumbs and egg to the pre-cooked minced meatballs. I shaped them into patties, fried them up, and although they were a tad crumbly, they held together pretty well and tasted great - savory, but not salty. To use up the Purple Puree, I mixed it with my own version of Amy Kaneko's hamburg sauce, which balanced the tanginess and salt with a brighter fruit flavor. The rest of dinner was a no-brainer - rice, miso soup, salad - and yes, red wine. I needed some for the meat sauce. So sue me for having red wine with Japanese food. It was a Pinot - and it was GOOD! 


I am calling this a culinary triumph - my kid inhaled his patties. Sadly, he did not go for the sauce, but that's fine because Peter and I liked it just fine. I know that it's best to be objective about my kid's accepting or rejecting the foods that I make for him - but it's awfully hard. I do get wrapped up in whether he likes what I make for him, or not - and if he doesn't like something, I put a lot of thought into re-engineering it so that he will like it, given his particularities around texture. I am fine with this - for the most part, it's a fun little challenge. 

Chocolate chip pancakes

Chocolate chip pancakes, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

My friend Allyson had a very nice take on my recent obsession with baking - it's a "creative phase," brought on by various occurrences. My grandmother's passing was one - she was my last living grandparent, and Jacob's only great-grandparent. There have also been a few births among my mom friends, and so there is the desire to celebrate their arrivals.

I'm using the term "baking" loosely since pancakes are obviously not baked, although they do come from a batter. We have a glut of cocoa powder in the house, and the desire to rid my cupboards of the excess supply has fueled many of my recent projects. Once again, the Sneaky Chef enabled me to feed my son a (ridiculously) decadent, very well-received breakfast while also getting him to eat blueberries ... and SPINACH!  A "purple puree" of steamed spinach and blueberries is added to the batter, blending in perfectly and hiding all evidence. And I got to use up some of the cocoa powder that's monopolizing my valuable shelf space.

I have started experimenting with Sneaky Chef recipes to make them even more sickeningly healthy than they already are - by substituting Stevia for sugar! So far I am having great success. I made blueberry juice (blueberries boiled, then strained with added sugar) and substituted all of the sugar with Stevia. The Kid never batted an eye! I haven't tried it with any baked goods yet, but I might break out the mixer this weekend and see what happens. As soon as I peel myself off this couch...

Adventures in Baking

YES!, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.


I am a cook through and through. I therefore have no business doing any baking, but right now, I can't help myself. The fixation on baking and baked goods in general started about a month ago, and continued into early May when my grandmother, Nana, passed away. It's so cliche, I know - but the loss and sadness made me want to bake. I actually schlepped a loaf of banana bread to Arkansas when I attended the funeral, not knowing who would eat it. The urge to bake makes sense - I wanted to provide comfort to myself, and to my family. When I think about it more deeply - witnessing a mixture rise as it incubates in the oven... and in the end, you've produced something that in turn gives sustenance.  With this latest project (pictured above), I attribute my success entirely to Cook's Illustrated. 


This was my very first batch of chocolate chip cookies, and they turned out great. A recent issue had a feature article on the perfect chocolate chip cookie. CI is famous for baking hundreds of batches of the same product before presenting the prize specimen. The articles chronicle the trials and errors, and get into the science of cooking, which I find fascinating. I am sure that I will continue extolling the virtues of Cook's Illustrated in future blogs. 


The reason why I should stick to cooking (and bake as little as possible) is that I cannot stop myself from experimenting. Once I tasted (ha-ha - get it?) success with this first batch of cookies, I turned my focus to the cookie recipe from The Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine, a book of recipes which mask healthy foods in kids' standard favorites. This concept is extremely appealing to me, having a child who is - ahem - averse to eating nearly all vegetables and most meats in their original form. I also FIRMLY believe in maximizing enjoyment of every family meal, so if that means that he refuses to eat green vegetables on his plate, so be it. He'll have them in his waffles tomorrow morning and he won't even know it. 


In Lapine's recipe book, vegetables like spinach, broccoli, peas, etc. become odorless, tasteless purees and juices which can then be mixed into pancake batters, pasta dishes, pizzas, grilled cheese and so on to produce nutrient-rich kid food. Ms. Lapine's recipe for chocolate chip cookies includes ingredients like rolled oats, whole wheat flour, wheat germ (yeah, yeah) and......WHITE BEAN PUREE! Really?? Upon tasting the raw dough, I had a total Eureka moment - I was reminded immediately of various bean pastes that I've had in Japan. Azuki beans are used regularly in all kinds of desserts - an pan, ohagi (which I blogged about last week), and all kinds of manju. I would not be surprised if Ms. Lapine took some inspiration from Japanese cuisine for this recipe. 


ANYWAY, my inner cook's incessant curiosity and penchant for experimenting got the better of me - I wanted to borrow a technique that had worked so well in the previous CI recipe and use it in the Sneaky Chef recipe. It involved one ingredient: butter. A cardinal rule in baking is "DO NOT experiment" - follow the recipe exactly as it is written, no exceptions. Sneaky Chef wanted me to beat the butter with other wet ingredients. Temperature of the butter is not specified, so one would assume that it calls for chilled or softened butter. Not only did I melt the butter - I BROWNED it, as per the CI recipe's instructions. 


I knew I was in trouble once I put the dry ingredients in: the consistency of my dough was downright runny!  There was no way that it was going to form the balls that you need for well-formed cookies. It looked like shortbread batter, but tasted great - still, I envisioned thin blobs of burnt dough on my cookie sheet. I was already way off course, so I decided to continue improvising. Based on previous research (not experience!), I knew that warm, runny batters would probably not form properly. So I put all of the dough into an 8" square baking dish and said a little prayer as I slipped it into the oven.  


In my high school cafeteria, they used to make these ridiculously good cookie bars that had the caramel color and toffee flavor of chocolate chip cookies, but the consistency of brownies. I was addicted to them and ate them nearly every day for 3 years. My hope was that my wayward dough would turn into something similar to what I remembered. 


Lo and behold...

Against all odds - SUCCESS!! Perfectly browned and crispy edges, cooked through in the center, slightly cakey consistency, about three-quarters of an inch thick throughout, and well-balanced flavor. I could totally taste the difference in the ingredients from the previous batch of cookies - this was still decadent, but not downright sinful. You could taste the whole grains, but it didn't bother me a bit. And it's worth mentioning that there was absolutely no sign of the beans. 


Here's the really beautiful part - I had to get the whole thing out of the pan to cool on a wire rack. I didn't make my parchment sling a head of time, so there was no easy way to shoehorn it out. Using an otoshi-buta (a small wooden lid used in Japanese cooking), I slowly flipped the pan over, easing the top side of the cookie onto the lid. It glided out of the pan and landed intact. Then I sandwiched it - otoshi-buta on the top side, wire rack on the bottom, and gently eased it back onto its right side. 

WOO-HOO!! Cut into 9 squares and gone by sundown! 


From this point, I might play around and come up with my own original recipe, at which time I will post details. Can't help it. I'm a cook. If you're dying to know the original recipe(s), I suggest subscribing to CI online - it's a very affordable yearly subscription, and I highly recommend it. You would be surprised at the wealth of useful information, if you do any cooking at all. As for The Sneaky Chef, it's a great book if you have kids. Thanks to that book, I have had great success getting Jacob to eat purees of broccoli, spinach and peas masked in pesto sauce!  

Minamoto Kitchoan - manju in downtown SF!

Island of bliss, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.


This place had me on the verge of tears, both coming and going; the decor, the layout, everything was so reminiscent of shops in Japan that I felt like I was IN Japan! I was in heaven, flitting between the displays, totally unable to pare down my ever-expanding wish list of sweet delicacies. Stepping back out onto Market Street was pure culture shock.  I told Peter that we can't ever leave the bay area, because it would mean that I couldn't get my Japan fix. If I am to live stateside, it must be near SF. New York is too cold, and - no offense to my Angelino friends - but LA is LA. It's a NorCal / SoCal thing. Anyway, for anyone who craves Japanese sweets like I do, this place absolutely rocks it like nothing else. I got yuzu-flavored mochi with a kumquat inside that was to die for. And the ohagi....you have to understand that ohagi is one of my favorite, favorite delicacies of all time.  Ohagi is basically glutinous rice covered in sweet bean paste. There are some variations, like course or smooth-textured beans, and some come dusted with kinako (toasted soy) flour, which I highly recommend, but it's a pretty simple concept. Ever since I learned that beans could be an enjoyable dessert, I have been in love with ohagi. 


This place pictured below is "Gyokusenya," a tiny ohagi shop on Sennichimae Boulevard in Osaka. It's just around the corner from where I lived for a short while. 

You can't find places like this in the States  - places that are so small, and specialize in one particular type of food. But if you look up this place on Japanese food sites, there are tons of glowing reviews. This place encapsulates a lot of what I love so much about Japan, and it all comes back to me when I have really good ohagi. This is what happened to me the other day after visiting Minamoto Kitchoan. If you are in SF, take MUNI or BART to Montgomery Station, go to the north side of Market Street and go in. Do not be shocked by the prices - this ain't no Mrs. Fields. But the flavors, colors and textures will astound you. I recommend choosing something familiar - like a white chocolate - matcha cookie or something similar, and then something wildly exotic. I cannot promise that you will love it, but you might - and at the very least, this little oasis in downtown SF is like a very brief but cheap trip to Japan. 

Loungin'

Loungin', a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

It's been an exhausting week, so it feels especially good to sit still. For the first time in a long time, the 3 of us "vegged" on the couch - no TV - and did little else besides flip through a book or 2 and just hang out. Amazing, considering how antsy my 2 year old gets.

Working backwards, we spent a long weekend in Tahoe to watch the Tour of California. Turned out it was canceled due to weather. Organizers must have been beside themselves. There was at least 6 inches of snow on the ground - in mid-May! We made the best of it and spent a good bit of time in it sledding and throwing snowballs. Jacob loved the "ice-cold snow" and probably ate more snowballs than he threw.

I had flown into Reno/Tahoe on Saturday morning from Arkansas. I went for my grandmother's funeral. She grandmother passed away on Monday. Logistics were pure hell, and therefore deserve a play-by-play recounting:

Thursday: SFO - Houston
About an hour before we were supposed to land, the captain announces that there is a big thunderstorm brewing on the west side of the airport. He said that we would approach from the opposite side, thus adding an hour (?) to the original flight plan. At this point, I know that I'm going to miss my flight to Little Rock because I only had a 30-minute layover...

About a half hour later, captain announces that we in fact will not be landing in Houston right away because the airport has been SHUT DOWN due to bad weather. Instead, we will be landing in AUSTIN to re-fuel. Then, we would see if the weather clears up enough to complete our trip to Houston.  So we land in Austin (I've always wanted to go - too bad I only got as far as the tarmac), two hours later we're re-fueled and heading back to Houston - into one of the scarier storms I have ever flown in. Oh, and I was sitting next to a nervous flyer, with whom I shared my favorite mantra when flying through turbulence: "the planes don't mind it, but the people do."

A flight from SFO to Houston normally takes 3 & a half hours - this one took almost eight. When I landed, I found out that my flight to Little Rock had been canceled due to bad weather. And guess what - they don't put you up in a hotel if weather is the reason for cancellation! I tried to jump on a later flight - that one was canceled too. After getting a boarding pass for a 6:00AM flight the next day, I finally gave up and checked in to a La Quinta Inn down the road.

Friday: Houston - Little Rock


In spite of being exhausted, I might have gotten merely 4 hours' sleep at La Quinta - sound insulation was non-existent, and my brain was on high alert knowing that I had to make a 6am flight. Still, it definitely beat camping out at the airport. There's a Peets coffee kiosk, which might be the only redeeming feature of this airport. Word of warning - the coffee is fine, but skip the pastries. I literally spat out my cranberry muffin and threw the rest away, it was so disgusting. There was a slight delay that morning from the sheer volume of people trying to get the f*ck out of Houston, but it was otherwise - thank god - smooth sailing into Little Rock.

9:00AM - I met my brother at Little Rock airport and we drove down to Warren for my grandmother's funeral. It was sad, we all miss her, but it was probably well past her time to pass on. It was good to re-connect with my cousins and extended family, whom I do not see often enough. We spent a few hours together looking at old pictures and keepsakes which were recovered from Nana's old house, then said goodbyes and made promises to see each other as soon as possible.

My family & I drove back to Little Rock, had a late dinner, and stayed up too late talking. I bowed out at 11:00PM to get some sleep before my (you guessed it) 6:00AM flight to Reno.

Saturday, 3:45AM: Little Rock - Dallas - Reno

I woke up to an emergency siren and a taped message blaring from the loudspeaker: "This is not a drill. Please evacuate the hotel immediately. Do not use the elevators." The smell of gas was very strong as I came out the door, and looking down into the hotel's atrium, I could see people milling about and firemen directing everyone to go outside. Still in my pajamas, I obediently left the building with my brother and we piled into the rental car parked outside - at least we didn't have to wait out in the cold. I guess there was no fire, because they allowed us back in about an hour later. If I had been smarter - or less sleep-deprived, or both - I would have gotten ready to go to the airport upon hearing those damn sirens, because I had maybe 10 minutes to get dressed, packed and leave for the airport once we were let back in.

Flights to Dallas and Reno were uneventful, thank god. Once I arrived in Reno, I grabbed myself a great, big Peets coffee to get me through the rest of the morning until I could finally collapse for an afternoon nap. The boys and I spent the rest of the weekend in North Lake Tahoe, where it SNOWED at least 6 inches - we're talking white-out conditions, don't want to be driving in this stuff kinda weather. Perfect for hibernation. It took me 2 days to feel like a human being again - not quite as bad as coming back from Japan, but almost.

I really do want to see my extended family more often - it gets a little embarrassing when we're only getting together for funerals and the occasional wedding. After this trip, though, I'm thinking that we should rendezvous in a place where everyone can either drive comfortably or get a direct flight!

The Boy and the Bridge

The Boy and the Bridge, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Jacob has a full-on fascination with the "gon-gon ju-ju" (Golden Gate Bridge). With Teddy leading the way, we hiked from Cavallo Point to the Visitor's Center on the northeast side of the bridge. A little harrowing with all the construction going on, but for Jacob, the 18-wheelers, tractors and heavy duty pickups were icing on the cake. It looks like it could be 80 degrees out, but it's always good to have extra layers when you're anywhere near the bridge. And action hero sunglasses.

Learning to love my vegetables

Learning to love my vegetables, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Obviously, I haven't abandoned healthful eating. In fact, for breakfast this morning, I had a lettuce and tomato salad alongside my eggs, toast and coffee. Either it means that I'm craving veggies or I just miss Japan. When in doubt, it is pretty much always the latter.

Inspired - still!

From left - angel hair cabbage and grape tomato salad, oven-broiled teriyaki chicken, grilled vegetables (red pepper, button mushrooms and snap peas), rice, and miso soup with scallops, wakame seaweed and chives. 


Today, I got some news that was not so great - to the point where I went on a long, much-needed walk and, after promising myself a big, fat slice of Triple Chocolate Mousse cake, I happily settled for chocolate frozen yogurt, which was conveniently located to where I was at the end of my walk. 


As I tore into my tower of creamy goodness, I thought of what friend's daughter, who's 27 (still young in my mind) likes to say: "There's nothing so bad in life that ice cream can't fix." Such a sweet sentiment. In my case, she was half-right. While it didn't "fix" the issue, the fro-yo lifted my spirits and gave me some much-needed perspective. When things happen to me that are out of my control, I have a hard time not finding fault in myself. It's true enough that I could have made different decisions - I have to remember that even still, it might not have made a difference. 


There are some things that we are not meant to control. I'm trying to accept that, to be thankful for what I do have (not the least of which is good health) and focus on the next steps. Several good decisions I made today have me feeling much better - the long walk, the frozen yogurt, and dinner, which was pizza from Lococo's, a genius local family place. I don't know how they do it, but Lococo's makes the crust exactly how I like it - this thick, chubby, chewy crust, all bubbled up and crispy around the edges. You can't not eat the crust. It is a crime - punishable in at least 3 counties. 


I should have taken pictures of our glorious pizza - but it is gone. In my belly. Still providing the feeling of fullness and satisfaction that only good pizza can provide. To those of you reading this and wondering about my super-healthy meal post a few weeks back, all I can say is that balance and moderation is key. And when you're feeling low, food can do a lot to soothe the spirit and comfort the soul. 


I am forever toggling between Italian and Japanese cuisine in my house - these two cuisines comprise at least 90% of what we eat in our house. So since I do not have the pizza picture or recipe available, I will tell you about the chicken teriyaki I made the night before last. I could have easily charred it into oblivion, using my unpredictable broiler that sporadically blasts out enough heat to melt a glacier. Today, my broiler was feeling abundantly generous - breast and thigh pieces alike were all juicy, tender and mouthwateringly sweet from the teriyaki marinade. The veggies were easy - I felt like a super-genius, remembering to soak my snap peas to slow the cooking - they were slightly charred and cooked to perfection. Didn't add a thing to them except canola oil spray which went direction on the pan; they were soft, succulent and delicious just like that. Cabbage and grape tomato salad comes out of the bag, gets rinsed and put on a plate. 
But this yuzu sesame dressing that I got in Japan town transforms them into YUM! 


I am especially proud of the teriyaki chicken because it's another recipe that I believe I improved on after playing with it. It's from Harumi Kurihara's book, "Harumi's Japanese Cooking." It's an odd book, and I bet that if you wanted to be a smart-ass, you could make the argument that the title is false advertising. There is no WAY that this book represents what Kurihara considers to be "Japanese cooking." There are recipes like "Tofu salad with basil and gorgonzola..." huh?? I know that about half of the non-Japanese readers throughout the world scratch their heads and say, "I didn't know that was considered Japanese food..." I promise you, it's NOT!!!! It just adds to the insurmountable confusion and misinformation about Japan. The title of the book is misleading, mindless crap, but the book itself is a collection of pretty good Japanese and Western recipes from a culinary celebrity in Japan. End of story/rant. And now, the recipe! 


Teriyaki Chicken


Here's Kurihara san's version of teriyaki sauce - doesn't get any simpler. I think I'm getting this right - it's late, and I'm too lazy to check, so here it is:


1.25 Cups soy sauce
1 T Mirin
1.5 T superfine sugar


I did not use superfine sugar, and the soy sauce I used was a mixture of regular and reduced-salt. Even still, I could only taste soy sauce when I made it as directed. Once I added another tablespoon of sugar, and another tablespoon of mirin, I started to get some sweeter notes and dimension to the flavor. Other recipes call for fresh ginger juice. I love ginger juice in anything, but it can be overpowering. Moreover, I was going for something that Jacob would like, so I stuck to these 3 ingredients. 


I think I would start with these proportions, taste the mixture once the sugar is fully dissolved, and go from there: 


4 T soy sauce
2 T mirin
2 T sugar


Double the recipe or triple it as needed to cover however much chicken you have. Chicken thigh or breast works beautifully for teriyaki. Be careful not to overcook chicken breast, it's easy to do. 


Put chicken and marinade into a Ziploc bag, squeeze out all the air and fold it in such a way that the chicken pieces are submerged in marinade as much as possible. Marinate for 2 hours. Flip the bag over a few times while marinating to ensure that all chicken pieces are covered. 


Preheat broiler. Spray a wire rack with canola or other neutral oil and place over a drip pan to catch drippings. Ideally, you're using a grid rack so that you don't lose any pieces. Remove chicken from bag with tongs onto a cutting board. Reserve marinade in the bag. Cut chicken into pieces about a quarter-inch thick and arrange on the wire rack. Place under the broiler. Check after 5 minutes or so. Turn chicken pieces over with tongs, ladle some more marinade on top of chicken pieces and place under broiler again. Check after another 5 minutes and remove once thoroughly cooked. Serve immediately or at room temperature. 

Resolutions, cont.

Ok, so never again will I draft a blog entry in Flickr - just poured my heart out, only to have it give me a "D'oh!" message and tell me to try again later. 
I'll try to keep it to the point. Baking is unnatural for me. I am cook by nature. I like, and to a degree, need the freedom to play, improvise, substitute for what I don't have and change my game plan altogether. Baking does not afford one this luxury. It's more of a disciplined art, which makes it, well, a lot of WORK. However, something that requires so much effort is also that much greater an expression of love and gratitude for whomever your recipients are. For this and other reasons, I resolve to bake more. And I did. This morning. With my 2-year-old. 


Jacob has this Learning Tower (I love it - sometimes) that allows him to get right in the middle of the action. When I want him to help me in the kitchen, I pull the Learning Tower up to the sink and we rock out. He has a habit of turning on the faucet full-blast and pouring water every which way. This really, really tests my patience. However, in keeping with my resolutions to be a better mom, I included him in today's baking adventure. He loves to pour, spill and mix - so I would measure out dry and wet ingredients, and help him pour them all into mixing bowls. This was a good exercise for me - I was tested, many times, to keep my perspective, maintain my good humor and patience...SMILE. And also, embrace the chaos. My shining moment of accomplishment was when we were loading the finished (phew!) batter into the muffin tin. I handed him a metal spoon, then switched it out for a wooden spoon, thinking that metal will damage the teflon coating. One potential disaster avoided. It turned out to be pointless because the wooden spoon never made it to the tin - Jacob took a nice-sized glob of orange, lumpy batter and dumped it into his Learning Tower, right on his little bare foot. Splat! 


Here was my first moment of glory - I LAUGHED. Thank you, God, for letting me see the humor in this moment!! I let out a great, big belly laugh which in turn made Jacob laugh! Then the dog came over and helped with the mess, which made it funnier. Jacob gladly helped mop up the remaining batter with a sponge. That kept him busy long enough for me to finish loading the tin and put it in the oven. Sixteen and a half minutes later came my second moment of glory - the muffins were PERFECT! No burnt bottoms!! 


I am including the recipe at the end of this posting, but I have just a bit more to say about my little journey of personal growth. It's HARD. I realize that I'm approaching "broken record" territory - but I have to say that I am challenged constantly by my beautiful, adorable, 2-year-old caveman to refrain from reacting when my buttons are pushed. I remind myself that this behavior has nothing to do with ME - the kid is doing exactly what he should be doing - which is exploring and testing the limits of his world. I want more than ANYTHING to be the kind of mom who exudes grace, humor and gentleness throughout these challenging moments! I know women like this, and they are my heroes. I strive every day to be more like them. I have so much more work to get to that point, but I can and will get there. I will do it for my family, for my friends, and most importantly for myself. One muffin at a time. :) 


This recipe was adapted from the "Applesauce Multigrain Muffins" recipe found on the label of Country Choice Organic Multi Grain Hot Cereal. Since the product is organic, the original recipe calls for all ingredients to be organic, as well. I use as many organic ingredients as I have on hand, but it's your choice. 


Another reason why I love this recipe is that I successfully substituted Jacob's carrot-apple baby food for unsweetened applesauce. I am so not a "baker."


Jen's Carrot Apple Muffins


1 Cup Country Choice Organic Multigrain Hot Cereal (uncooked)
1.5 Cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
0.5 tsp. baking soda
0.5 tsp. ground cinnamon
2 packages Trader Joe's Apple Carrot fruit sauce Crushers OR 1 Cup unsweetened applesauce
0.5 Cup fat-free or low-fat milk
0.5 Cup brown sugar
0.25 Cups sunflower or canola oil
1 egg


1. Preheat the oven to 400F degrees. Line twelve-muffin tin with baking cups or lightly oil bottoms of cups. 
2. Combine dry ingredients - oats, flour, baking powder, baking soda and cinnamon. 
3. In a separate bowl, combine "wet" ingredients - applesauce or fruit sauce, milk, brown sugar, oil and egg. 
4. Combine wet and dry ingredients and stir just until the dry ingredients are moistened. 
5. Spoon batter into muffin tin and bake for 18-20 minutes.*
6. Test with a knife, and if the knife is clean, remove from the oven and transfer muffins out of the tin to a basket too cool. Serve soon after baking or freeze for later! 


* My oven usually runs 20 degrees too hot, so I have to start checking them after 15 minutes. They were perfectly done today in 16.5 minutes! 

First Passover seder - sort of

So the way that all of this came about is complicated, unless you are of the opinion that different religions can be combined to serve the same basic purposes. After Palm Sunday service at Grace Cathedral, I was inspired, or maybe "pushed" is more like it, to do some inward-looking and honest assessing of how I am doing as a wife, a mother and a person. Long story short, I was in denial about a lot of areas in need of improvement. Becoming a better person - really evolving beyond what feels comfortable and familiar - is HARD. It requires a lot of attention to detail, monitoring minute behaviors, and constantly reminding oneself of the valuable lessons learned. Fortunately, if I am successful, the payoff will be incalculably good. So in the spirit of spring renewal, I got inspired to pull together my first Passover seder for my family. 


I had NO IDEA how involved it would be - once I started the research, spending the entirety of my son's nap reading Wikipedia articles and information from the Marin JCC web site (which is awesome), I knew that I would need days more time than I had to execute. I opted instead for a pared-down version (like, seriously pared down) which included this lovely jar of Ready to Serve Matzo Ball Soup! I want to say that Manischewitz does a spectacular job - not that I am a connoisseur of Jewish food - but the most impressive feature was the broth, flavorful yet obviously low in sodium. So I could serve it to my kid by the barrel - and he slurped it right up, except for the vegetables. 


The matzo ball soup was really the only thing that was Jewish about the whole meal, but I incorporated other traditional elements. I know from reading about Friday Shabbat dinner that families are supposed to use the best china, crystal, silverware, etc. they have to honor the special occasion. I had to dig to the WAY back of my kitchen cabinets to get at all of this stuff, still packed in travel boxes, and far out of reach of the Kid. But I am so glad I did - looking at the sparkly glasses and silky-smooth wedding china on the table, I thought of my wonderful friends and relatives who were and are so generous with their time and resources. We poured wine with dinner, and read about the Four Cups of wine and what they symbolize. I lit candles, and you're supposed to say special blessings as they are lighted, but Peter didn't remember the blessings. I served undressed butter lettuce because I read that one of the traditional foods is a bitter herb or vegetable, symbolizing the bitterness of slavery. I crunched on a few undressed leaves during the main course to taste the bitterness; for the salad course, I drizzled on some yuzu citrus dressing. Yes, Japanese dressing. You're getting the idea that the rest of the meal suddenly departs to a bizarre, culinary "left field." 


I had this image of beef brisket cooked with tomato paste in my head. I had made brisket once, and it was a fatty, messy, bland failure. I imagine that it would taste great when cooked low and slow with tomato paste - so adding leftover hayashi sauce (yes, Japanese again) which has tomato paste as its base, was my quick-and-dirty solution. I didn't have any brisket, but I had some Prather Ranch beef sirloin tips on hand. I seared those, left the juices in the pan, added olive oil and sherry, then sauteed some portabella mushrooms in all of that. TASTY!!  The hayashi sauce just brought all of this to a new level, and I only needed a little bit in the end.  


Naturally, I had to serve this saucy concoction with rice, which, while not "leavened," is also not in keeping with the Passover meal, either. In fact, you're supposed to rid your entire house of all leavened bread, rice and beans! Yeah, I didn't do that. I did have the presence of mind not to serve shrimp at the Passover meal - this delicious, garlicky shrimp salad that I got from Costco - we're having it tonight. Instead, I steamed some artichokes - and I think the mayonnaise I served them with was kosher...OK so it WASN'T kosher, but at least it was preservative-free. 


After letting the sirloin tips rest, I sliced them up...man, I wanted to eat them just as they were, they looked so good! It looked like tataki, which is seared meat served partially raw. It reminded me of gorgeous slices of sashimi. Just to be safe, I threw them back in the pan with the sauce and cooked them SLOWLY and gently. Beef sirloin tip gets tough very quickly, so I think it's best to err on the not-that-done side of things, and buy from guys like Prather Ranch. I can't take any credit for the hayashi sauce (my friend Hiroko is a culinary genius), but MAN it was tasty. Oh, then for dessert......this unbelievable chocolate raspberry cake with dark chocolate shavings on the top. It came from Polly Ann Bakery in Novato. Ridiculously good. I served it with Peets decaf coffee. I drink mine black now, and the contrast between the bitter coffee and the sweet cake is pure pleasure. Japan taught me to appreciate that. In tea ceremony, you drink bitter matcha with a small confection that's off-the-charts sweet. Frothing it with the bamboo whisk cuts some of the bitterness so it's smooth, and only slightly astringent. The contrast between the bitter, frothy matcha and the little jewel of sweetness...sends me into orbit every time. 


But I digress. How long is this posting, anyway?? To sum things up, I was looking for a way to express a few sentiments at once - resolution to be a better person, gratitude for my family, especially my ever-understanding husband, and the hope and joy that springtime, Passover and Easter bring to us each year, whether we practice those religions or not.  Altogether, our "Passover" dinner felt beautiful, and in its own way, sacred. 




First passover seder - sort of, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Reality check

There are a couple of things that I want to mention about this lovely picture - first, this is how we should all be eating. Seriously. If you want to put years back on to your life, and avoid diseases which obviously come from poor nutrition, get back to basics. More on this topic in a moment. Next, I WANT OUR EGG YOLKS IN THE US TO LOOK THIS GOOD!!!  If you crack open ANY egg in Japan, it has this color yolk - it's like a gorgeous sunset on your plate.  I have read that this deep, orange color indicates that they're full of nutrients. I have searched high and low, and paid stupid amounts of money for eggs belonging to the most responsibly raised, best-fed chickens in Marin County. It mystifies me that their yolks are the same anemic, pale yellow as what you'd find from any factory farm. If someone can enlighten me on this mystery, please do get in touch. 

Getting back to the meal itself - there is a plan called the Peak Condition Project (PCP) which is a 90-day plan towards achieving your own peak level of fitness. It's a straight-up, no nonsense diet and everyday exercise that can be done virtually anywhere. I am psyching myself up to do it - someday - but priorities lie with conceiving Kid #2 right now. In the meantime, I'm doing a similar plan for 2 weeks, just trying it out on my own. For the first time in my life, I am adhering to the following rules: 

- Vegetables are my staple food. I eat them at least 3 times a day. 

- Veggies are either steamed, baked, boiled or stir-fried with no oil or fat of any kind.

- Fat is added to the diet in the form of low fat milk, either in the morning or for lunch.

- Carbohydrates take the form of bread, rice or potatoes. I eat them for breakfast and lunch.

- No alcohol, caffeine, added sugar or added salt. 

- I also eat 6 times a day, so there's no starving myself. Fruit snacks make up half the meals. 

I know, it sounded like pure torture to me too when I first heard about it - then I watched people who were on PCP literally transformed so much for the better - nasty habits like stress-induced eating and late-night binges were no longer in the picture. People who, at 40 years of age, looked like they had maybe another 10-20 years of good health in their future, all of sudden look like they might live past age 90!  I know that the diet is a huge component - sure enough, after about a week of eating like this, my body feels totally different. Especially after meals. I have gotten so used to feeling gassy and uncomfortable after meals - I feel none of that now. So I feel like the basic diet and the exercise, even in the short term, is burning nastiness out of my system. 

The health benefits are primarily what I'm going for here - full disclosure, my brother's wedding is coming up, so I also want to look good for that event - for me, that doesn't mean "anorexic." It means having muscle definition and a healthy glow overall. It's working so far, I'm already seeing the results - hunger in the morning is the hardest thing for me, which is why I have my first fruit snack as soon as I wake up. 

This is the kind of thing I have thought about doing for years - and in the US, a lot of lip service is paid towards eating more vegetables, blah blah blah. For years, i have bargained with myself about the merits or downsides to the next projected intake of calories. This plan makes it really simple, and I feel like it's the best possible thing for someone in their late-thirties who really needs a paradigm shift in healthful eating. I don't want to slide back into eating jarred Alfredo sauce on my cheese tortellini once a week. Seriously. I can do better, and finally, I now AM doing better, even if it's only for 2 weeks. 

肉団子とかぼちゃの煮物 (Stewed meatballs & kabocha pumpkin)

Daddy's lunch, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Having the Kurodas here for several days inspired me to use up all the leftover items in our fridge to the best of my ability. There was a wedge of acorn squash left over, and since I didn't feel like going to the supermarket today, I defrosted some minced chicken and looked up a recipe to put them together.

I no longer trust recipes if they're in English - on the other hand, I have yet to go wrong with one that's written in Japanese, provided I can understand it. The braising sauce in the recipe was perfectly balanced, and my husband thought that it was (and that I am) amazing - the truth is that I can follow directions well when I put my mind to it. Either way, we're all eating well, and he's taking leftovers to work for lunch. I owe it all to my Tokyo friends - I am inspired to cook and eat more vegetables that I ever have in my life. Also on the menu tonight were brussels sprouts, boiled daikon, steamed rice and oven baked sweet potato fries. No oil or anything for the veggies - I used some dashi (fish broth) to flavor some of them, but that was it. Strawberries for dessert. It feels good to be healthy!

Kurodas were in town!

Jacob enjoying visit with Kuroda kids, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

We were treated to a visit from the Kuroda family (Ren, Hiroko, Chikage and Riku) this week. After all the craziness that hit northern Japan earlier this month, Ren and Hiroko took the kids, got on a plane and took a vacation to California. If you watch - and believe - US media, you would think that Japan is simultaneously glowing with radioactivity and sinking into the ocean. From what I can gather, Tokyo was slowed down by the quakes and aftershocks, i.e., some train lines were down for a while and such. It reminded me of how Osaka was in 1995 after Kobe. Anyway, the kids' school was closed for inspection and not much was going on at work - in Japan (like the US, but maybe more so), you have to seize on opportunities to take vacation otherwise it may never happen.

We were treated to the BEST food - Hiroko is an amazing cook, and she apparently doesn't mind doing it while on vacation (SCORE!) so we were treated to amazing Japanese home cooking for the entire week. This goes WAY beyond my IKEA meatballs. A lot of what she cooked this time was very simple - boiled or steamed vegetables and such - but served alongside chicken wings sauteed in soy sauce, mirin and balsamic vinegar, or miso soup with poached egg and kabocha pumpkin.....sheer heaven. I promise that I will re-create these dishes to the best of my ability and post a picture very, very soon.

Niku dango no Amasu-an (meatballs in sweet vinegar sauce)

Niku dango no Amasu-an (meatballs in sweet vinegar sauce) a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

I've been very, very sad lately about the terrible aftermath of the Sendai Earthquake. Cooking makes me feel a little better - if I can't get on a plane and go rescue somebody, at least I can feed my family a tasty meal. The dango came out great, and this was a super easy recipe.

One of my favorite cookbooks is called "Let's Cook Japanese!" It's intentionally campy in its tone, and is written by a female expat who used to live in Tokyo, and now resides somewhere in the bay area. The book has all these great homey recipes that you'd only eat if you were privileged enough to be invited over for dinner at someone's house.

The recipes are also not what Westerners would expect from a "Japanese" cookbook - rather, it's a cookbook of everyday food in Japan, which is not "washoku" (Japanese food) per se. It's a mix of influences - Chinese, French, Italian, German, etc., changed a bit for Japanese palates. The "Amasu-an" sauce is a perfect example - chicken broth, soy sauce, rice vinegar, sugar, water and cornstarch - in other words, a typical Chinese-style stir-fry sauce. These are IKEA meatballs, by the way - the dish was as easy to make as it gets, and so, so tasty-good.

Unbelievable day

Happy girl on the slopes
Originally uploaded by js_hale

It was our 2nd day on the mountain - I thought for sure that the soreness and fatigue would cut the day short - I actually skied better and for a longer time than yesterday! People must think I'm deranged when they ski past me - I'm usually singing, or if I'm going pretty fast, I start laughing hysterically. Something about the adrenalin rush is hilarious to me. Peter pulls up beside me mid-run, and I'm doubled over laughing. I let out a few rebel yells today, though - when I feel like I'm flying down the mountain, I really can't help it. The only thing that would be better is to have several of my friends here at one time. Any takers?

Urban Day

It sounds weird, doesn't it? What is an "urban day?" The explanation doesn't make it seem any less odd - I basically immerse myself in the city that I love by ditching the car and walking the streets, or as I did today, getting on MUNI and going for a ride. It's something that I do all by myself - for a few hours, I am free of responsibility, and I can go wherever I want, eat whatever I want, and absorb the sights and smells of the city I call home.

I parked at Haight & Pierce, walked down to Duboce and Fillmore, boarded the N-Judah and rode all the way out to Ocean Beach. Just because. I had no agenda, other than to see what might have changed around 9th & Irving. Looked about the same. I noticed a cool-looking bookstore called "Great Overland Books" that looked cozy. Along the way, the sun started coming out, which is odd - usually it gets foggier and colder as you go towards the coast. It was sunny and windy when I got to the beach; I said a quick hello to the waves, and promptly ducked into the Java Beach Cafe to go to the bathroom and get warm. All the locals were hunkering down in cozy couches with warm beverages and fresh pastries. With my decaf au lait in hand, I went back out to catch the same tram heading back towards my point of origin.

Spur of the moment desicion - I got off at Carl & Cole and walked down to Haight Street. By now it was almost 11:00AM and the clothing stores were just opening up. A little visitor's tip - Haight Street is pretty seedy. Lots of seemingly able-bodied kids sitting along the sidewalk asking you for money. But at that time of day, it's pretty deserted, and there is some very decent shopping to be had. You have some great stores all to yourself - American Apparel has opened a store there, and there are old standards like my favorite, Ambiance. This store has everything from cute no-name dresses for 20 bucks to high, high-end. I could have spent hours there, but eventually hunger and the need for a bathroom takes over. My wallet was significantly lighter when I left, but I made some solid purchases - a dress for my brother's wedding and a trendy-yet-versatile top. It was starting to rain again, so I started walking down Haight Street, hoping the 71 MUNI bus would catch up quickly. I made it to a covered bus stop right before it started pouring, and pulled out half a sandwich that I'd brought from home. Finished right before it was time to hop on the bus, which dropped me across the street from my car. It was really raining by then, so I dashed to the car and got in the back seat. Phew. Now what? Well, I still have to use the bathroom (not many great options in the Lower Haight), but I'm not ready to go home. I could head down to the Mission for some thrift store shopping, but I'm feeling rather sickened by the idea of spending more money - even if it's at a steal of a price. Japan Town has bathrooms, covered parking, and more-than-satisfactory window shopping. Perfect.

It stopped raining on my way up to Japan Town. I circled the block once and found a fat spot on Bush Street between Webster & Buchanan. Sweet! Walk down Webster Street and enter on the lower level of the Kintetsu shopping center. I notice that a restaurant called Bushi Tei has moved over (downsizing?) from the strip on Post Street. Weird. Still swanky looking on the inside. And I smell....mmm. Sweet dessert dumplings, but I'm going to pass for now. Take care of the bathroom situation and head into Kinokuniya Bookstore. Every time I go back, they've expanded. Most of it is cheesy, it's true for Kinokuniya and for Japan Town in general. Lots of trinkety, overpriced crap that Americans like. But J-town serves a worthy purpose of providin goods that cannot be found anywhere else besides Japan. Or Little Tokyo in LA. I MUST have access to good, high quality Japanese tea, for example. That and good quality rice - these are non-negotiable items for me. But sometimes, just roaming the aisles of Nijiya Grocery store is enough. The candies, the baked goods, the fish and meats cut specially for cooking sukiyaki, or chanko nabe, or sashimi. And the ceramic dishes - tiny blue and white saucers for soy sauce, tokkuri for sake, tea cups and rice bowls; seeing these things gives me indescribable happiness. Today, I was content with "visiting" the merchandise before it was time to go home. I was inspired, though, to cook something that I used to get all the time at izakayas (taverns) in Japan. Bacon-wrapped asparagus. Don't ask me why. I will make it tomorrow, though. Served with a wedge of lemon and a squirt of mayonnaise on the side! :D