My Match.com pic

FOLLOW UP: I met Peter on November 5th - our first date went REALLY well, ending with a kiss
that left me floating on a cloud. We have spent as much time together as possible and it still hasn't
been enough. This picture was taken on Christmas Day - the first Christmas he spent away from home -
because he wanted to spend it with me & my family! I'm in Japan at the moment, and missing him like crazy. For the first time, I actually shortened my trip in Japan to come home early because I couldn't bear being apart from him any longer. Ladies, I'm telling you, it WORKS! :)


Ok, so a lot has happened. I met Peter, and I am really...how shall I put it?
Enamored, flabbergasted, all gooey inside, and pretty much falling for the guy,
fast! The worst thing I can say about him so far is that he's never been to Japan, which as my friend Ren (www.giveyourmeat.com) says, is easily fix-able.

So we met on Match.com, and I'm here to tell you, ladies - IT WORKS! The thing is, there are certain guidelines which I believe allow you to make it work much, much better. The first step is to have a kick-ass profile:

a. 4-5 flattering, CLASSY pictures - no bikinis - sexy evening dresses are great - in which you're smiling.
b. Be really clear about what you're looking for. I talked mostly about what I want in a relationship, and I think it was a good screener. The guys that I went on dates with were all sincere, intelligent, and ready to settle down.
c. You can talk a bit about yourself, but I think it's good to leave some mystery, too.
d. For the question, "What was the last thing you read?" I suggest putting something besides Cosmo or People magazine. Food for thought.
e. I put down that I wanted a guy with at least a college degree. Nothing for race, and I think I put a certain amt. for income, I can't remember. Let's face it - if you have any inkling to stay at home and raise kids someday, you'll want a guy who's willing and able to take care of his family, right? And as far as race goes, I know people will disagree with me, but I don't believe in such a thing. I think the concept is seriously flawed, at best. I'm going off on a tangent, I know, but 'race' implies a difference that extends to our intellect - which is a load of malarkey - when all it boils down to is how we adapted over time to the geography around us. We look different because our ancestors were exposed to certain temperatures, differing amounts of sunlight, etc. over time, and lo and behold, we adapted to our respective environments. End of story. Compatibility has nothing to do with the color of someone's skin, and I know from experience (ha) that love can be found the world over, among any population in the world. EDUCATION, i.e., formal training + life experience, plays a crucial part in the equation of compatibility!

Ok where was I...yes -

2. Do NOT look for guys. No searching, no winking, no emailing. Let them come to you. Pursue a guy, and it's like a mouse running towards a cat...the cat has no idea what to do, and might be tempted to run in the other direction! Men are built for hunting - it's been in their blood for thousands of years. So let them pursue YOU.

I'm curious to see what kind of a response I get, so I'll stop there, for now!

Rumsfeld is GONE.......

Poor W...oh, this is gratifying. Hearing press people take the piss out of Bush.
It's like a good shot of espresso - makes you feel all warm and tingly inside.
Brilliant. Bush cannot be humble - it's absolutely impossible for him to admit
defeat. "Risk-adverse" - I like that term. It still doesn't beat 'misunderestimated.'

The road to ....

I haven't blogged in a while because I was busy leading a tour in Japan, which went quite well. My guests were a sweet couple from Chicago who were extremely intelligent, curious people - my favorite kinds of clients! This photo was taken at a subtemple of Daitokuji complex in Kyoto - the complex is vast and austere, and this little subtemple is an oasis of serenity. Besides temples, I arranged a private tea ceremony with an apprentice geisha, a washi paper-making workshop, a private visit to a potter's kiln in Shigaraki, then of course meals, hotel accommodations, and various cultural activities. On this last trip, I realized that I really do love my job - this is my passion and it's something that I feel that I'm really good at. I just need more clients and trips to make it sustainable!

The real deal

My friend Elaine took me to a hole in the wall sushi place
in the Richmond - it doesn't have a sign - it's just called "Tekka." Nigiri was obscenely big - food was OK - average for Japan, amazing for the US. I might go back, but the attitude from the wait staff was a little hard to take. To her credit, she softened a bit towards the end.

Birthday

Happy Jen...August 9th was a day of indulgence. I had a plan
to get a car and drive it north - I decided to check out Orr Hot Springs, a clothing-optional complex of indoor/outdoor baths, pools and saunas, filled with real spring water. It was really great, but I can't help but pine for the Japanese baths...here in California, it seems like the emphasis is more on being naked than anything else. People assert their individuality so strongly here (at Orr, in California, in America) that it literally invades your space. Bathers might learn a thing or 2 from the Japanese - a culture in which nudity was never really taboo. There, people are mindful of people around them so as to not disturb other people, thereby cultivating a sense of peace and tranquility. So yeah, I didn't get THAT at Orr, but I did get beautiful, lush surroundings, the sound of babbling water pouring into the pools, and enough peace & quiet to really melt into my own thoughts. I want to go back for sure.

So on my way back to SF, I drove through Mendocino and re-discovered Brutocao winery.
Way back in 2000, I had visited the winery with Krishnan, a guy I was seeing, and we together discovered Schoolhouse Red - a surprisingly delicious red table wine which at the time was less than $10. It's gone up to $17.99, but that didn't stop me from buying 2 bottles for old time's sake. It's not even as tasty as I remember it being before, but it didn't matter. When I saw the sign, I literally sat up and yelled "Schoolhouse Red! Omigod!" to myself in the car. So much fun to re-discover a piece of my past. It was another great birthday present to myself.

hot in the city

believe me when I tell you that it was HOT in the subway! We actually departed New York before the serious heat wave hit, but I would take that weather any day of the week over the winters. I have to admit that I have a masochistic side that really likes the changing of the seasons - it makes you really appreciate what you have at the moment - sweltering heat makes you relish the first cool autumn breezes - you stop and appreciate the passing of one season to the next. If only I could fast-forward through the winters, not SKIP them but just make them pass more quickly, I'd consider moving back to the east coast for a while. I miss the grittiness of it, and the in-your-face energy of the place. Things are much more straightforward there, too - look like you know where you're going, and don't look at anyone else. Although I have to say that I believe that 9/11 did change New York. People DO look at each other more - they have softened a bit, become more human. Thank god, too - I really believe that something good can come out of tragedy. It has to.

living proof

This is the label from a t-shirt that I bought!

ESPRIT!!!!!!

I am in New York, and today I made a joyous discovery - ESPRIT is alive and well
and is once again part of my wardrobe. www.esprit.com

I must be thinking about the WTC also because I'm heading to New York tomorrow - since I am newly single, my mind drifts to various ways in which I meet the next Mr. Dreamboat. Just now, I thought about how it would be nice to sit near one on the airplane - not next to one - I would like to feel free to drool in my sleep or let my gut hang out if I feel the need. Although, maybe it would be a good exercise to just let go and do that in front of someone. First impressions be damned - along with silly games and childish thinking. And dishonesty - that goes down there too. AM I RIGHT? Lemme hear ya!

musings

I am ovewhelmed at the hypocrisy, arrogance and general idiocy demonstrated by our current administration. It is shameful. We do not deserve the prosperity and ideal quality of life that we have. We hog the world's resources and then shit on everyone in return. If we had just taken a moment after 9/11 to reflect on WHY this was happening - why are these people so desperate as to sacrifice their lives and forsake their families to drive planes into the World Trade Center? Could it have POSSIBLY had something to do with us?? No, we say - they're EVIL. They're the ones who are CRAZY. What have we done??

I think about those poor people jumped from the World Trade Center windows to avoid being incinerated alive. Do you think that they were thinking that whoever did this was EVIL? Um...don't think so. At the brink of death, I imagine finally attaining a sense of clarity that comes only from being humbled to the core; being acutely aware of every passing second and how precious it is to have blood flowing through our veins, to have people who love us; and fully aware that we are all CONNECTED.

On that horrible day, I went to church. That's where the above picture is from. I wanted to feel connected, to make sense of it all, and to grieve. What I think was happening for a few precious days afterwards was that America, shocked and grief-stricken, was humbled. Grief and loss washes away all that is irrelevant, petty and false. We are left with what is real and true, and precious. If we had just continued down that path, retaining that humility, realizing that we as a country also have the capacity to do the same great harm as what had been done to us, I think that there would have been some hope for us as a nation. Instead, George Bush, who apparently was never taught how to mourn or to grieve, and for whom humility is probably seen as a weakness, got on the soapbox, rattled his saber, vowing revenge, and turned the nation down the path of a blind Crusade. His word, not mine - well chosen, because the current conflict seems as futile as the original Crusades.

Democrats are even more guilty, let's not forget. They let it all happen. They had a responsibility to speak out against an unjust, totally unredemptive war; against a president who is so clearly and so painfully incompetent. IN-COM-PE-TENT; no one had the guts to stand up and utter a word. Not Kerry. Not Gore. The Democratic leaders abandoned us all, in hopes of saving their own asses. Shame on all of you, and what a horrible mess you've gotten us into.

Sunday at Ocean Beach

This kite was so huge - the entire scene was typical surreal San Francisco - massive kite expertly flown by a certifiably insane dude talking to himself (or the kite??).

This lighting made me look so good, I didn't want to leave the bathroom!
Me and Miss Lian - veteran models for Saffron, and for Yugala before that. She'll be leaving for grad school soon - going to "Hah-vahd."

Fashion show - BOCA

Trippy fashion show at BOCA (Bar of Contemporary Art, SF) -
in a stroke of pure genius, this model grabbed a fake leg from a nearby art installment, threw it on top of her leg and started posing for the camera. I'm sure the installment's creator is none too pleased, but I have to hand it to her, posing with that leg was artistic genius!

maybe someone watched "Love and Death" and thought that Woody Allen was saying "meat" instead of "wheat"...makes more sense that way, but I reckon that this slogan, like so many other hilariously random Japanese-English quotes, was purely random from the beginning.

Gyoza stomach anchor

If there ever was a food that made expressly for hangover cravings, this has to be it. Huge steamed dumpling with greasy bbq pork or beef inside? Initially, I thought the name in Japanese is supposed to 'gyoza dog' - both signs indicate otherwise - it's either a 'gyoza dock' or a 'gyoza dork.' You decide.

Japan does cuteness like no other country in the world. This was taken near Takayama in Shirakawa-go, an historical village full of old farmhouses.
If you dare ask why a cute stuffed animal belongs in an historical farmhouse village,
well, inevitably you will be dissatisfied with the answer - it's Japan!

Break-up (round 2)

Someone who was recently a guest at Grace Cathedral's Forum said,
"Things really started to turn around when I decided to give up on having a more perfect past."

I'm not sure what I am looking for. Someone with an expansive world view, forward momentum and sense of contentment with himself while honestly recognizing his faults - who sees the cup as half-full and can appreciate all the little miracles of daily life. Someone who recognizes joy and embraces it, and reflects it back to me. In my past relationship, I felt like I was trying to alleviate some pain that I couldn't take away, and I wasn't experiencing enough joy to balance things out. Devin has a broken heart and I grieve for him - as much as I love him, I don't want to grieve anymore. It's the end of a 5 and a half year relationship.

Time is the great healer, right? Time, a drink or 2, a cat in my lap - work, work, work. If you know of anyone who wants me to take them to Japan, send them on over!

shigoto ga owatta!

Another successful tour finished! Yay!!! Sue, Harumi, Doi-san, Masako and Izumi-san, thank you soooo much. The Friedlands were very pleased overall, I think. Can't wait to go home for a little r&r - although I'd be happy to take refuge somewhere in the mountains at a remote onsen...that would work too!

Jibuni!

Kanazawa specialty - yummier than it looks, especially with
an ice-cold beer! After this meal, I have a hard time thinking about the fact that I have to go back to San Francisco...

I love Engrish!

This is a choice and increasingly rare example of the Japanese government's ineptitude at English - or at least ask someone how to spell words correctly before posting it on signs! As you can see, the sign exhorts you to be careful while wearing a "hut." I love it. Laughed so hard.

zack in Tokyo!

Zack and I were treated to a feast of o-soba last night
by Ren and Hiroko at a restaurant in their neighborhood. Who would think that a buckwheat dumpling could get Zack to SMILE for a picture?? ; ) Hang on - is that really a smile?? I am going to count it on the sole criterion that his dimple is visible.

birthday par-tay - 1976

it was a 'stone groove!' definitely more fun that I'd expected. since I don't know Pat's friends REAL well, I tend to lower my expectations when I go to his parties. Silly me! We had a blast, and Pat is now the proud owner of a righteous disco ball, which I hope will have a permanent home in his dining room. Roller skates and the soundtrack to Xanadu were the only things missing - I brought Carvel ice cream cake which sent me hurdling back to my childhood - soooooooooo GOOD!

the babies

birthday boy

Devin was 43 yesterday - we went to the SF MOMA, followed by a shopping excursion in search of the perfect cargo pants - for anyone looking for the type of 3/4 length pants which have drawstrings at the bottom, they are damn hard to find for men - after looking in North Face, Banana Republic, Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Old Navy, nuthin! we're still looking. the quest continues.

on our way home, Devin decided to get off at Church St. - 1 stop away from where he lives - and said simply, 'Follow the Leader.' We ended up at a sushi place which had always been darn good cheap food - well now No Name Sushi on Church Street is just 'cheap.' Apparently there was a change in the management and magically, carrots have appeared in the miso soup, and for some reason a side of potatoes are included (???). The final blow which nailed the coffin shut was the last piece of abalone - so funky that I didn't want to chance it - ended up in my napkin. Blech! Since we weren't real satisfied & still slightly hungry, we got pizza and vegan carrot cake - I don't care what anyone says, the carrot cake at Harvest Mkt. - vegan or not - is some of the best damn carrot cake I've ever had. I had a candle at the ready, stuck it in the cream cheese icing and sang him happy birthday. A little Monty Python's Flying Circus before bed, and the day was done. It was a birthday which I hope not to forget - although knowing me, I probably will!

hikin'

THIS is why we put up with the high prices, the traffic, the rat race! Well, I don't really do the rat race, but you get my point - it's all worth it when you can drive for 30 minutes and be surrounded in majestic redwoods and waterfalls. Anna, Cheryl & I had a stellar hike - I especially enjoyed playing 'Chase' downhill!

fashionistas

Priya and Yugala are GENIUSES. I have been a friend and devoted fan for years of their clothing lines, YUGALA and SAFFRON - they recently moved into a new studio in the Mission and they are ready to take off. Priya has huge meetings coming up in New York next week, so SEND GOOD THOUGHTS! The clothes are career-casual and urban chic - worn by women who love Ann Taylor, BUT their clothes are hipper than Ann Taylor could ever hope to be. Check 'em out! www.saffronrarethreads.com

Interview!

I have an interview tomorrow with World Expeditions - cross your fingers!

I PASSED MY REAL ESTATE EXAM!!!

It's so amazing when you're sure that you failed at something, then it turns out that you did just fine...and the pure delight that goes with achieving a meaningful milestone. I feel like I can do anything!!!

unagi!

Dennis was in town this week! As usual, food was the
central theme of conversation - he was 'satisfied' with the unagi at Tanuki - his standards are incredibly high - Tokyo spoils you. Only 6 weeks to go and I'm there!

kitty tv

the cats are enthralled with the outside world. too bad they can't go romp around outside - they make do with Lara's house plants. ;) it's SUNNY for the first time in weeks - we haven't seen so many cloudy days, like, EVER.

pda in the park

Mom would love this shot. ;) devin and I are grabbing whatever free time he can spare these days - he is working like a madman. At least the weather cooperated for us - it was near-perfect in Dolores Park!

me and the bride

i caught the frickin' bouquet!

my friend Elaine married her sweetheart, Joe, this past weekend and -
I still can't believe it - I caught the bouquet. It went straight to me.
If I hadn't lifted my hands up, it would have hit me on the head.
I think the universe might be trying to tell me something... or not! ;)

kitchen

it's a dorky picture, i know. me in the kitchen, so what. it's also not fair that i got up early to go running, i've been pretty good about exercising and STILL I look like i'm 15 pounds overweight . しかたがないな。。。

my new career - shopping assistant!

I was in Crate & Barrel w/ my mom and saw what may be the perfect coffee table for my new living room - it's actually not 'mine,' - I am helping my roommate pick out a new coffee table. If there's anyone who wants me to help them pick out some new furniture for THEIR house, drop me a line!

we're back together!

The day before Valentine's Day, I'm coming back from the corner store by my new house. I turn around to take pictures of the new neighborhood, and there he is, riding his bike right down my street. We hugged and cried, talked, and I saw the conviction in his face that he wanted things to change, that they would change, and that he wanted to try again. I felt a shift and I knew, I had to give it another chance or I'd regret it. So here we are - this was taken on Valentine's Day on the way to Dolores Park. It ended up being too cold outside, so we spent hours in a tea house, talking and laughing. We're back to dating, and so far it's wonderful. :D

say hello to my little friend

this is Dylan. he is a sweetheart and comes with the new place where I am currently living. Devin and I are officially back together after 2 weeks of heartbreak - i know, that was quick! Most people don't believe us when we say that we RANDOMLY saw each other on the street, hugged and cried, and started to work it out from there. He was late picking me up on Valentine's Day, so it's been bumpy, but we're bumping along. for now, I'm glad that I have my own space to live and work stuff out for myself. I needed that, regardless.

Housesitting

couch-surfing isn't ALL bad. The sunrise this morning was amazing. My friend Linnea is in Paris this week, and I am the lucky recipient of a housesitter appointment - her apartment is like a luxurious treehouse, the way it's situated on the hillside. It's nice to be sitting at a real desk and sleeping in a real bed, having space to spread out and do my thing, but it's also COLD up here. Can't wait to re-locate to the sunny Mission...

better

time is the great healer. I am still having trouble sleeping. Last night I had a nightmare. I was talking to D. and I called him
a "sanctimonious bastard." A tad strong. he could never be a bastard. Sanctimonious, well... not even that - more self-righteous. Stubborn. I think I'm harboring a lot of frustration at myself for trying to make a situation work that clearly was not right for me. Hopefully, next time, I won't make these silly mistakes again. I am being tested already with the process of finding a place to live, and making sure that I do not compromise my needs and desires for a break in the rent, or whatever the deal is.
It needs to feel like HOME. Bottom line. checking out all available options and saying no to the ones that immediately feel wrong. In the meantime, I am staying in the lovely Marina with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge...things could be worse! :)

done

it's over. devin and I are officially done. i was numb when I broke up with him yesterday. Today it hurts more. I feel like it's the right thing to move on, though. I hope I'm right. so many reasons why it will be an uphill battle in the long term, and I don't want my life to be an uphill battle. I thought bac k to the 'vacation' camping trip that Devin and I took to Big Sur - we hiked 10 miles uphill in the June heat - he HAD to go on a weekday because he hates crowds, so I took off work. everything is a chore, nothing is ever easy. What's more, we struggle to communicate constantly - there is hardly ever a moment where we can anticipate each other's thoughts, conclusions, or motivations. Five years later, we know each other so well but we can't work together. I figure, if it's this way 5 years in, it will be this way ad infinitum. it may be the right thing in the long rn, but i'm just sad. very sad.

the end...?

The sun has come out in San Francisco. This new year is off to a very rocky start. Relationships are complicated. All you can do is to look into your heart, see what you really want and try not to be afraid of it.

baby brother

Dad was playing around with a new scanner and obviously found one of Pat's more embarassing (but soooo cuuuuuute!) pictures. With all the women's clothing that he was made to wear as a kid (I put him in my ballet tu-tu's and once, I even made him wear my one-piece Wonder Woman swimsuit), it's amazing that he's straight.

i had to post this

a day in the life... it looks like the person who wrote this used Altavista to translate japanese to english - just to give folks an idea of what I have to deal with on occasion. mind you, it's by my own choice - I was too lazy to write in Japanese, so this is the tradeoff....
"Thank you very much for answering a letter. Serious I am sorry. Since the mistake occurred by guidance of a single charge, please let me correct. By my misapprehension, the single room is considered to be only one room and I had guided the charge.At the present charge, its one room serves as [ other two rooms ] another charge and is better, Although a mistake does not occur -- please come out and understand the situation usually, Since clumsiness had my guidance by ￥13,860 this time, how is it in ￥11,550? I need your help well. Although it is a check, what does payment become? Please reply.Although it is not explanation only by the wish, I need your help well."

big fat greek dinner

this was my dinner at MYKONOS. I ate about half of this dish, called "Keftedes" - Greek meatballs. Mmmmmm.

WHAT TO DO.....どうしよう？？

I love my work. I love working at home. And I love navigating people thru Japan, smoothing out logistics and shaping trips into amazing experiences. To me, THAT is noble and meaningful - THAT is worthwhile! BUT...I do not love watching my savings dwindle, wondering how, when and by whom I will get paid again. I do not like waiting at the cash register, wondering if I have enough in my account to cover the groceries I've purchased. As my little company grows, my nerves are fraying. I'm faced with a choice - sell out for a steady paycheck or...write a business plan and go for it. や～。。。どうしよう！！

GRUB!!!!

I can't NOT make ham & black-eyed peas on New Year's Day -
after all the rich holiday food, it's the perfect meal.

GRUB!!!!

I can't NOT make ham & black-eyed peas on New Year's Day -
after all the rich holiday food, it's the perfect meal.

New Year's

Devin invited ME to church on New Year's. :D