I had no idea that they took this picture - my relatives saw it the next day in the paper and called me. I just now googled it and found it again - not tooting my own horn or anything, I just thought it was appropriate for the day. The caption of the picture reads: "Jennifer Hale, 29, cannot hold back tears as she attended a Requiem Eucharist at the Grace Cathedral Episcopal in San Francisco."
I was thinking all day long today about where I was 8 years ago. I woke up at 6:00am to some of the saddest music I'd ever heard, playing on NPR - and heard that the twin towers had been hit. I didn't have a TV, so I wasn't glued to the set - just listening to the radio, and talking to my boyfriend at the time who drove a cab, and was convinced that the US was under attack. I was stunned, shocked and panicked that something similar might happen near where I was (San Francisco). Consequently, I refused to go into work that day - I was supposed to fly to LA for some meeting - my boss at the time (whose HUSBAND was working in the Pentagon!) was trying to talk me into driving down with her after our flights had been canceled (she actually said, "come ON! We can have lunch in Santa Barbara..."). I was incredulous and rather sickened that she wasn't at all affected - she wasn't showing it, anyway, who knows what she was actually feeling. Instead of work, I went to church. Grace Cathedral had an unscheduled service at noon that day. I needed to process the reality of what had happened. I was not aware that my picture would be shown in USA Today, but there it was the following day.
What I remember from the days afterward was hearing how neighbors in New York who normally would never exchange a word suddenly talked to one another, asking each other if any of their loved ones were still missing, and reaching out to one another for support and comfort. It confirmed my belief that despite our best efforts to convince ourselves otherwise, we are all connected. I had hoped that the grief and sadness that was felt throughout the country would somehow be channeled into, I don't know, something productive - something to bring about more peace. What Bush & his administration did with that grief was in my opinion an aberration - channeling it towards more violence. A "crusade," right? I listened today to what Obama had to say at the memorial services, hopeful that I would hear a far different tone from that of 8 years ago, and the tone, at least was different. Tempered, I guess. I was somewhat encouraged, but I think we still far short of leveraging the tremendous amount of good that can be done in honor of the people whom we lost.
Very quickly (Jacob just woke up), Isabel Allende said after losing her daughter (paraphrasing), "when tragedy happens to you, there is a cleansing that happens, and it burns away everything that's unnecessary - and you're purified, in a sense. You are humbled, you feel gratitude for those who support you through it, and you don't have room for anything else." I felt some of this after 9/11, and how I think many others might have felt this way, too. I know I'm not articulating this well, but I feel like 8 years after the fact, we still have an opportunity to do a lot towards building greater understanding and promoting peace in the wake of tragedy. I can hear some of my friends snickering at me for saying this - but I'm really serious. We just need the right leadership to point the way forward.
