done

it's over. devin and I are officially done. i was numb when I broke up with him yesterday. Today it hurts more. I feel like it's the right thing to move on, though. I hope I'm right. so many reasons why it will be an uphill battle in the long term, and I don't want my life to be an uphill battle. I thought bac k to the 'vacation' camping trip that Devin and I took to Big Sur - we hiked 10 miles uphill in the June heat - he HAD to go on a weekday because he hates crowds, so I took off work. everything is a chore, nothing is ever easy. What's more, we struggle to communicate constantly - there is hardly ever a moment where we can anticipate each other's thoughts, conclusions, or motivations. Five years later, we know each other so well but we can't work together. I figure, if it's this way 5 years in, it will be this way ad infinitum. it may be the right thing in the long rn, but i'm just sad. very sad.