Day 1 in the Hotbox

Osaka_castlemoat
Originally uploaded by js_hale

There are times when you are painfully reminded of the basic truth that nothing is ever "free." Today was one of those times. Fortunately, I had my expectations set properly. The Japan tourism board makes a good show of trying to promote Japan as a destination - most of what they do ends up being an exercise in self-sabotage. Despite their efforts, I will still bring people to Japan. A few highlights - my favorite quote of the day, our guide described Hideyoshi Toyotomi, an iconic warrior and leader of 16th century Japan, as the "son of a pheasant" (she meant "peasant"). Next, the itinerary itself - whoever planned the tour thought that Osaka Castle was a must-see...um, no. Osaka "Castle" is a 1930's replica of a 16th century castle, inside of which is an 8-floor, labyrinthine museum of artifacts. The stairwells are crowded and smell like toilets. I have been subjected to visiting this castle more than once, and it has not changed much in 20 years. We were spared the worst, though - the rest of our tour group came from Europe early this morning. After an 11 hour flight through God knows how many time zones, somebody thought it would be a great idea to take them straight from the airport to the convention center where they would meet with 120 different hotel salespeople, land operators, restaurant salespeople and other travel-related service providers - from 1:00 in the afternoon until 6:00PM!! And the best part - the invitees (myself included) have to sit at a desk while they each take their turn pitching. The bell rings, they get up, and another one comes in. You're lucky to have a second to take a sip of water. But hey, they did let us have a 10 minute break after an hour straight.

By far, the most painful part of the day was the live performance...oh.my.God. Ninja warriors. Guys dressed as samurai with fake bald heads, performing cheese-ball sword fights. Dancers dressed as geisha and maiko, but with polyester costumes and crappy, cheap-looking wigs. It was as if these actors were being paid to make fun of their own heritage, it was bizarre. Naturally, we were asked to fill out a questionnaire evaluating the performance. Being the only American female present (you guessed it - I had to mark that I was both "female" and "from the US"), I wasn't exactly going to be straight-up honest and tell them it sucked. Besides, the Chinese travel agents (the overwhelming majority in this case) were snapping photos and cheering. It's just part of the deal of getting something for "free." For the record, I'm not complaining!