Since Jacob has started crawling, we have gotten to the point where it makes more sense to train him to sleep in his crib. Up until now, I wanted to bed-share for years. I saw how it worked so well for my friends in Japan. I thought that the sense of security that children must feel in sleeping next to their parents every night could only help his development. Above all, I wanted a happy, well-adjusted kid. I talked with a good friend whose opinion I respect very much - she'd read somewhere about a theory: basically, children are brought up strictly in the west (i.e., forced to sleep in a crib) from a very early stage, therefore they must be educated even more strictly as they get older. And since they couldn't enjoy constant closeness with their caregiver/mother early on, they need someone who welcomes their need for acknowledgment later in life, both mentally and physically. To paraphrase - kids who aren't nurtured early on are left wanting later in life.
I agree with the basic premise for sure. Recently, though, I've changed my mind about how this theory applies to my kid sleeping in a crib. First of all, every kid is different. Second, I believe that the bed-sharing for the first 8 months of his life (along with breast feeding, lots of affection, etc.) established a strong foundation of security and self-worth. Kid woke up - more later!!
(1:11PM) Jacob has been "down for a nap" since 12:30pm. Translation: he's been screaming his head off for nearly 45 minutes. The guidelines say to end the nap after 1 hour and try again in 1-2 hours. Naps are the hardest to change. Right now, I'm on the second 15-minute interval, and I seriously doubt that he'll go down before it's over. This is the really hard part, making yourself stay put during those intervals while listening to your child scream. But I have been assured that I am not doing anything harmful, and he knows that we love him, it's just hard getting used to a new routine. As long as Peter and/or I check in at 5-10-15 minute intervals to reassure him that we're here, he is not traumatized or feel abandoned.
The upside to this whole situation is that he's sleeping better at night. Last night, he went down easily at 8:30PM - I heard him doing his half-asleep fussing at 6:00AM, but he went back to sleep, and woke peacefully at 8:15! Never thought it would make that much of a difference so quickly, but it has. So we'll see how it goes from here. He's still crying, so I need to go get him now.
