pda in the park

Mom would love this shot. ;) devin and I are grabbing whatever free time he can spare these days - he is working like a madman. At least the weather cooperated for us - it was near-perfect in Dolores Park!

me and the bride

i caught the frickin' bouquet!

my friend Elaine married her sweetheart, Joe, this past weekend and -
I still can't believe it - I caught the bouquet. It went straight to me.
If I hadn't lifted my hands up, it would have hit me on the head.
I think the universe might be trying to tell me something... or not! ;)

kitchen

it's a dorky picture, i know. me in the kitchen, so what. it's also not fair that i got up early to go running, i've been pretty good about exercising and STILL I look like i'm 15 pounds overweight . しかたがないな。。。

my new career - shopping assistant!

I was in Crate & Barrel w/ my mom and saw what may be the perfect coffee table for my new living room - it's actually not 'mine,' - I am helping my roommate pick out a new coffee table. If there's anyone who wants me to help them pick out some new furniture for THEIR house, drop me a line!

we're back together!

The day before Valentine's Day, I'm coming back from the corner store by my new house. I turn around to take pictures of the new neighborhood, and there he is, riding his bike right down my street. We hugged and cried, talked, and I saw the conviction in his face that he wanted things to change, that they would change, and that he wanted to try again. I felt a shift and I knew, I had to give it another chance or I'd regret it. So here we are - this was taken on Valentine's Day on the way to Dolores Park. It ended up being too cold outside, so we spent hours in a tea house, talking and laughing. We're back to dating, and so far it's wonderful. :D

say hello to my little friend

this is Dylan. he is a sweetheart and comes with the new place where I am currently living. Devin and I are officially back together after 2 weeks of heartbreak - i know, that was quick! Most people don't believe us when we say that we RANDOMLY saw each other on the street, hugged and cried, and started to work it out from there. He was late picking me up on Valentine's Day, so it's been bumpy, but we're bumping along. for now, I'm glad that I have my own space to live and work stuff out for myself. I needed that, regardless.

Housesitting

couch-surfing isn't ALL bad. The sunrise this morning was amazing. My friend Linnea is in Paris this week, and I am the lucky recipient of a housesitter appointment - her apartment is like a luxurious treehouse, the way it's situated on the hillside. It's nice to be sitting at a real desk and sleeping in a real bed, having space to spread out and do my thing, but it's also COLD up here. Can't wait to re-locate to the sunny Mission...

better

time is the great healer. I am still having trouble sleeping. Last night I had a nightmare. I was talking to D. and I called him
a "sanctimonious bastard." A tad strong. he could never be a bastard. Sanctimonious, well... not even that - more self-righteous. Stubborn. I think I'm harboring a lot of frustration at myself for trying to make a situation work that clearly was not right for me. Hopefully, next time, I won't make these silly mistakes again. I am being tested already with the process of finding a place to live, and making sure that I do not compromise my needs and desires for a break in the rent, or whatever the deal is.
It needs to feel like HOME. Bottom line. checking out all available options and saying no to the ones that immediately feel wrong. In the meantime, I am staying in the lovely Marina with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge...things could be worse! :)

done

it's over. devin and I are officially done. i was numb when I broke up with him yesterday. Today it hurts more. I feel like it's the right thing to move on, though. I hope I'm right. so many reasons why it will be an uphill battle in the long term, and I don't want my life to be an uphill battle. I thought bac k to the 'vacation' camping trip that Devin and I took to Big Sur - we hiked 10 miles uphill in the June heat - he HAD to go on a weekday because he hates crowds, so I took off work. everything is a chore, nothing is ever easy. What's more, we struggle to communicate constantly - there is hardly ever a moment where we can anticipate each other's thoughts, conclusions, or motivations. Five years later, we know each other so well but we can't work together. I figure, if it's this way 5 years in, it will be this way ad infinitum. it may be the right thing in the long rn, but i'm just sad. very sad.

the end...?

The sun has come out in San Francisco. This new year is off to a very rocky start. Relationships are complicated. All you can do is to look into your heart, see what you really want and try not to be afraid of it.

baby brother

Dad was playing around with a new scanner and obviously found one of Pat's more embarassing (but soooo cuuuuuute!) pictures. With all the women's clothing that he was made to wear as a kid (I put him in my ballet tu-tu's and once, I even made him wear my one-piece Wonder Woman swimsuit), it's amazing that he's straight.

i had to post this

a day in the life... it looks like the person who wrote this used Altavista to translate japanese to english - just to give folks an idea of what I have to deal with on occasion. mind you, it's by my own choice - I was too lazy to write in Japanese, so this is the tradeoff....
"Thank you very much for answering a letter. Serious I am sorry. Since the mistake occurred by guidance of a single charge, please let me correct. By my misapprehension, the single room is considered to be only one room and I had guided the charge.At the present charge, its one room serves as [ other two rooms ] another charge and is better, Although a mistake does not occur -- please come out and understand the situation usually, Since clumsiness had my guidance by ￥13,860 this time, how is it in ￥11,550? I need your help well. Although it is a check, what does payment become? Please reply.Although it is not explanation only by the wish, I need your help well."

big fat greek dinner

this was my dinner at MYKONOS. I ate about half of this dish, called "Keftedes" - Greek meatballs. Mmmmmm.

WHAT TO DO.....どうしよう？？

I love my work. I love working at home. And I love navigating people thru Japan, smoothing out logistics and shaping trips into amazing experiences. To me, THAT is noble and meaningful - THAT is worthwhile! BUT...I do not love watching my savings dwindle, wondering how, when and by whom I will get paid again. I do not like waiting at the cash register, wondering if I have enough in my account to cover the groceries I've purchased. As my little company grows, my nerves are fraying. I'm faced with a choice - sell out for a steady paycheck or...write a business plan and go for it. や～。。。どうしよう！！

GRUB!!!!

I can't NOT make ham & black-eyed peas on New Year's Day -
after all the rich holiday food, it's the perfect meal.

GRUB!!!!

I can't NOT make ham & black-eyed peas on New Year's Day -
after all the rich holiday food, it's the perfect meal.

New Year's

Devin invited ME to church on New Year's. :D

Fun at the alligator farm - I was pleased to see that some things haven't changed too much. The same tortoises and spider monkeys that were living here when I was 8 yrs. old are still here today! Misty has a pass which allows them to go whenever they want - I'm jealous!