Family ties

Just recently, my mom was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphona. Apparently, her case is curable, but at Stage 3, I expect that it will be a long, hard road. I have surprised myself by suddenly choking up with emotion, mostly sad that she has to endure pain, hair loss, etc. Tomorrow, she will have her first round of chemo, and it will last for 12 hours.

When I found out about her diagnosis, the idea came to me to donate my hair directly to her for a wig. I have Oprah to thank for this good idea of mine - she did a show on donating hair to cancer patients, and brought Hilary Swank on as her guest. She had been growing her hair out in order to have Oprah cut it on the show and donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths organization. I was inspired when I saw the show years ago, and obviously it has stayed with me.

Donating hair directly to someone in need is tricky - many organizations want to protect the privacy of cancer patients. But my sister-in-law found an organization that will do it - she sent me a link to Caring and Comfort.  I lop off the hair and secure the sections in ponytails, mail them to their address, and the wig maker color-treats it to match my mom's preferred hair color. It will be mixed with other hair as well, but my hair will be in there too.

The other night, Peter and I were watching "Tangled" (like you do when you have a 2 year old, and while you could watch anything you want while he's asleep, you end up watching cartoons). At the end (spoiler alert), her hair breaks off and turns brown - and she's left with this cute, short hair - and I thought, "hey, I actually like her hair - I wonder how that would look on me?"

Yeah, I know. Cartoon=not real. Can't help it, I think it's cute. And now I'm poaching images off the Internet to put them on my blog.

I do have weird, mixed feelings about giving my hair up - mostly though, I feel good about doing something that's so easy for me, which will mean so much to someone who has to go through this.
I have a hair appointment in 2 days - if I go through with it, I will post photos.

Urban day w/ the Kid

Duboce park, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

One of my favorite things to do with the Kid is to ride public transportation. Jacob regularly asks to "get on boom-boom gn with mo-mo," which means that he wants to ride a train while eating a muffin. Don't ask me why, but he asks to do this almost daily. On this last outing, I didn't have muffins on hand, but we did ride the train from Duboce Park into Cole Valley, which involves passing through a tunnel - a huge thrill for the Kid.

It was your typical foggy-misty-cold-overcast summer day in the city. I hated those days when I lived there. Now that I'm basking in sunny Marin, the gloomy weather is a novelty that I sort of relish. I also don't mind the hectic pace, the noise, the trash, etc. I want for Jacob to at least not mind it, and if possible, to enjoy the quicker pace, to embrace the diversity and the myriad ways in which the city challenges you.

This might turn into sort of a rant, but I'll try to stay on point - what is my point? Simply put, it's that I don't want my son growing up a sheltered suburban kid. The other day, I was at a play date in Marin, and someone started talking about how they NEVER go into the city - parking is terrible, it's so hectic and busy everywhere, wah wah wah. . . sure, it's hectic and parking is a pain, but hello! Exploratorium? Fantastic museums? Parks, great restaurants, year-round events, Crissy Field, cable cars!! Isn't it worth a little inconvenience to expose your kid to all this cool stuff, especially when it's right in your backyard? Jacob will be exposed, he doesn't get to choose - but so far, he seems happy to let Mom show him the city she so loves. Muffins on a train - what could be better?

First day of preschool

First day of preschool, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Big Boy had his first day of preschool today. Mom was not ready for the send-off - teachers like to make sure that children say good-bye to parents as they leave. I am used to slinking out without him knowing that I left. I had to swallow tears when he came after me crying, telling me not to leave. But we managed, and after a few minutes, he calmed down. He was very happy when I picked him up, to the point where he didn't want to leave! Can't wait for the next day of school!

Bus adventure

Bus adventure #2, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

Friday morning, the weather was perfect and we were free to do anything we wanted. These days, it's best to keep the Big Boy on the move. One of the easiest ways to entertain him is simply to get out and let him observe all modes of motor transportation. There are few things as engrossing as watching loud "boom-boom" trucks and buses barreling down the street. But what's even better is to ride on one!

I love public transportation - I don't know that I would have said it when I didn't have a car, and relied on MUNI pretty heavily. I think it comes from having lived in Japan. Ironically, it feels so liberating to leave the car at home, walk to the bus stop and wait to be whisked off. The problem is, in the US, you can wait, and wait and wait. Still, I find myself really wanting the freedom of being car-less. In Marin, taking public transit is a challenge, but it's not insurmountable, as I discovered today. We live within a 10-15 minute walk of a local bus line. I found the drivers - I kid you not - to be not just helpful, but warm and accommodating! This is a shock to anyone who's spent time riding MUNI in San Francisco, where many drivers are downright surly.

Anyway, my plan this morning was to take the bus downtown and attend an art class for toddlers. I got a late start leaving the house, so I missed the bus (they run every 30 min), and therefore missed art class. No big deal. With the Kid, it's more about the journey itself. He wanted to ride a bus, and while we waited for the next one to arrive, there were plenty of "big boom-boom" cars and trucks to keep him happy.

We arrived downtown at 11:00AM, plenty of time before lunch, possible meltdown, nap time, etc. The beauty of taking the bus is that you are free to peruse those intriguing little shops and places that you want to have a closer look at - and you think that very thing each time you're driving right by them ("Gee, it would be nice to check out that little boutique..." vrrrooooom - off you go). Additionally, getting out of your car allows you to actually be a part of your environment, rather than moving through it, like a fish in an aquarium on wheels. Near the bus stop, there is a cluster of Victorian houses that I pass by as I'm about to get on the freeway - and today was the first time that I could take a closer look. It was very satisfying to finally do so.

Another beautiful thing about being car-less is that it allows a whole other level of spontaneity in making and changing plans. As I was window shopping, I remembered that there was a cute-looking place that looked like a hair salon for kids, so I went by to have a look. Turns out that it was indeed a hair place for kids - as I looked inside, though, I saw attendants wearing what looked like Haz-mat suits, masks and gloves - this was odd, I thought. Went to the front door to investigate - the sign on the front door made it very clear - it's a place to take your kids when they have lice!!!

Did a quick 180 and walked down the street - Heller's toy and clothing store was just next door - sad story, Heller's is closing its doors after 50+ years, which meant that everything was marked down. I found some Big Boy underpants for Jacob, who is toying with the idea of using a potty someday. Maybe it's just that he's toying with his mama. In any event, he will - hopefully - need them someday soon.

We made it back to the bus stop in time to catch the 11:30 bus back home. We got off at the mall and grabbed lunch at Chipotle. I love Chipotle because my son with the "Discerning Palate" will reliably eat a sizable, nutritious lunch there, no matter what. Don't beans (legumes) count as a vegetable? They'd better, because that's the only vegetable that he will eat in its undisguised form. He did a good job on his lunch, so we went inside the mall before walking home, and discovered....a CHOO CHOO TRAIN. All thoughts of the indoor play structure forgotten, he made a bee line for the train and staked his claim on the coal car. I love how he gets when he's enthralled - very quiet, watchful and still. His eyes are wide and he's taking everything in. He was happy to ride only once and then do a thorough post-ride inspection of the train. And I learned that riding that train is a very enjoyable and efficient way to window-shop!

Sees candies on the way home (dark chocolate nougat) kept my boy happy and awake for the entire walk. \\(^_^)//

Sneaky Chef meets "Let's Japanese Cooking!"

IMG00683-20110610-1922.jpg, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.


Every weekday afternoon, it's the same situation - the Kid sleeps until 4:30 or so, at which point it's way too late to go grocery shopping if I am going to put dinner on at 6:00PM. For the record, I am NOT complaining - my kid gives me a solid 2.5 hour break every day, and it has been this way (knock on wood) for at least 4 months. It just means that, on some days, I have to forego grocery shopping and dredge through the freezer for any scrap of protein to go with whatever grains and veggies I have on hand. It was looking awfully sketchy today - I uncovered some frozen organic chicken meatballs, which were too salty and therefore banished to the freezer because I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. 


Other protein options I had were tofu, a puree of white beans, uncooked bacon and stinky cheese. I also had some Purple Puree (spinach & blueberries) that I had to use up somehow. The Purple Puree is easily hidden in brownies, chocolate cookies and in hamburger patties, but I did not have any ground beef. Then I had an idea - in Japan, "hamburger" or "hamburg" patties are made from combinations of ground protein - beef, pork, sometimes CHICKEN.... often mixed with tofu (!) and served with a tangy, dark sauce comprised mostly of Worcestershire sauce and ketchup.   


So I defrosted and minced the salty chicken meatballs and used them as a base for less salty, fortified patties. Taking inspiration from The Sneaky Chef and "Let's Cook Japanese Food!" by Amy Kaneko, I made my own "hamburg." I added tofu, white bean puree, a slurry of milk, panko and whole wheat breadcrumbs and egg to the pre-cooked minced meatballs. I shaped them into patties, fried them up, and although they were a tad crumbly, they held together pretty well and tasted great - savory, but not salty. To use up the Purple Puree, I mixed it with my own version of Amy Kaneko's hamburg sauce, which balanced the tanginess and salt with a brighter fruit flavor. The rest of dinner was a no-brainer - rice, miso soup, salad - and yes, red wine. I needed some for the meat sauce. So sue me for having red wine with Japanese food. It was a Pinot - and it was GOOD! 


I am calling this a culinary triumph - my kid inhaled his patties. Sadly, he did not go for the sauce, but that's fine because Peter and I liked it just fine. I know that it's best to be objective about my kid's accepting or rejecting the foods that I make for him - but it's awfully hard. I do get wrapped up in whether he likes what I make for him, or not - and if he doesn't like something, I put a lot of thought into re-engineering it so that he will like it, given his particularities around texture. I am fine with this - for the most part, it's a fun little challenge. 

Chocolate chip pancakes

Chocolate chip pancakes, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.

My friend Allyson had a very nice take on my recent obsession with baking - it's a "creative phase," brought on by various occurrences. My grandmother's passing was one - she was my last living grandparent, and Jacob's only great-grandparent. There have also been a few births among my mom friends, and so there is the desire to celebrate their arrivals.

I'm using the term "baking" loosely since pancakes are obviously not baked, although they do come from a batter. We have a glut of cocoa powder in the house, and the desire to rid my cupboards of the excess supply has fueled many of my recent projects. Once again, the Sneaky Chef enabled me to feed my son a (ridiculously) decadent, very well-received breakfast while also getting him to eat blueberries ... and SPINACH!  A "purple puree" of steamed spinach and blueberries is added to the batter, blending in perfectly and hiding all evidence. And I got to use up some of the cocoa powder that's monopolizing my valuable shelf space.

I have started experimenting with Sneaky Chef recipes to make them even more sickeningly healthy than they already are - by substituting Stevia for sugar! So far I am having great success. I made blueberry juice (blueberries boiled, then strained with added sugar) and substituted all of the sugar with Stevia. The Kid never batted an eye! I haven't tried it with any baked goods yet, but I might break out the mixer this weekend and see what happens. As soon as I peel myself off this couch...

Adventures in Baking

YES!, a photo by js_hale on Flickr.


I am a cook through and through. I therefore have no business doing any baking, but right now, I can't help myself. The fixation on baking and baked goods in general started about a month ago, and continued into early May when my grandmother, Nana, passed away. It's so cliche, I know - but the loss and sadness made me want to bake. I actually schlepped a loaf of banana bread to Arkansas when I attended the funeral, not knowing who would eat it. The urge to bake makes sense - I wanted to provide comfort to myself, and to my family. When I think about it more deeply - witnessing a mixture rise as it incubates in the oven... and in the end, you've produced something that in turn gives sustenance.  With this latest project (pictured above), I attribute my success entirely to Cook's Illustrated. 


This was my very first batch of chocolate chip cookies, and they turned out great. A recent issue had a feature article on the perfect chocolate chip cookie. CI is famous for baking hundreds of batches of the same product before presenting the prize specimen. The articles chronicle the trials and errors, and get into the science of cooking, which I find fascinating. I am sure that I will continue extolling the virtues of Cook's Illustrated in future blogs. 


The reason why I should stick to cooking (and bake as little as possible) is that I cannot stop myself from experimenting. Once I tasted (ha-ha - get it?) success with this first batch of cookies, I turned my focus to the cookie recipe from The Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine, a book of recipes which mask healthy foods in kids' standard favorites. This concept is extremely appealing to me, having a child who is - ahem - averse to eating nearly all vegetables and most meats in their original form. I also FIRMLY believe in maximizing enjoyment of every family meal, so if that means that he refuses to eat green vegetables on his plate, so be it. He'll have them in his waffles tomorrow morning and he won't even know it. 


In Lapine's recipe book, vegetables like spinach, broccoli, peas, etc. become odorless, tasteless purees and juices which can then be mixed into pancake batters, pasta dishes, pizzas, grilled cheese and so on to produce nutrient-rich kid food. Ms. Lapine's recipe for chocolate chip cookies includes ingredients like rolled oats, whole wheat flour, wheat germ (yeah, yeah) and......WHITE BEAN PUREE! Really?? Upon tasting the raw dough, I had a total Eureka moment - I was reminded immediately of various bean pastes that I've had in Japan. Azuki beans are used regularly in all kinds of desserts - an pan, ohagi (which I blogged about last week), and all kinds of manju. I would not be surprised if Ms. Lapine took some inspiration from Japanese cuisine for this recipe. 


ANYWAY, my inner cook's incessant curiosity and penchant for experimenting got the better of me - I wanted to borrow a technique that had worked so well in the previous CI recipe and use it in the Sneaky Chef recipe. It involved one ingredient: butter. A cardinal rule in baking is "DO NOT experiment" - follow the recipe exactly as it is written, no exceptions. Sneaky Chef wanted me to beat the butter with other wet ingredients. Temperature of the butter is not specified, so one would assume that it calls for chilled or softened butter. Not only did I melt the butter - I BROWNED it, as per the CI recipe's instructions. 


I knew I was in trouble once I put the dry ingredients in: the consistency of my dough was downright runny!  There was no way that it was going to form the balls that you need for well-formed cookies. It looked like shortbread batter, but tasted great - still, I envisioned thin blobs of burnt dough on my cookie sheet. I was already way off course, so I decided to continue improvising. Based on previous research (not experience!), I knew that warm, runny batters would probably not form properly. So I put all of the dough into an 8" square baking dish and said a little prayer as I slipped it into the oven.  


In my high school cafeteria, they used to make these ridiculously good cookie bars that had the caramel color and toffee flavor of chocolate chip cookies, but the consistency of brownies. I was addicted to them and ate them nearly every day for 3 years. My hope was that my wayward dough would turn into something similar to what I remembered. 


Lo and behold...

Against all odds - SUCCESS!! Perfectly browned and crispy edges, cooked through in the center, slightly cakey consistency, about three-quarters of an inch thick throughout, and well-balanced flavor. I could totally taste the difference in the ingredients from the previous batch of cookies - this was still decadent, but not downright sinful. You could taste the whole grains, but it didn't bother me a bit. And it's worth mentioning that there was absolutely no sign of the beans. 


Here's the really beautiful part - I had to get the whole thing out of the pan to cool on a wire rack. I didn't make my parchment sling a head of time, so there was no easy way to shoehorn it out. Using an otoshi-buta (a small wooden lid used in Japanese cooking), I slowly flipped the pan over, easing the top side of the cookie onto the lid. It glided out of the pan and landed intact. Then I sandwiched it - otoshi-buta on the top side, wire rack on the bottom, and gently eased it back onto its right side. 

WOO-HOO!! Cut into 9 squares and gone by sundown! 


From this point, I might play around and come up with my own original recipe, at which time I will post details. Can't help it. I'm a cook. If you're dying to know the original recipe(s), I suggest subscribing to CI online - it's a very affordable yearly subscription, and I highly recommend it. You would be surprised at the wealth of useful information, if you do any cooking at all. As for The Sneaky Chef, it's a great book if you have kids. Thanks to that book, I have had great success getting Jacob to eat purees of broccoli, spinach and peas masked in pesto sauce!